Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall...(or put me in, coach): Owlz/Black Sox Preview

What we have with the Owlz and Black Sox are two teams who expect to go undefeated, and win the championship. Any team that goes into a season without winning a championship as the ultimate goal, should go play slow pitch softball. Last season there was a near brawl during the Black Sox-Owlz playoff game, followed by fisticuffs in the parking lot.

The shenanigans overshadowed some great baseball.





Consider most sports movies in which there is an obvious protagonist and villain, the team you root for, and the team that stands in their way.

I've seen a lot of these films, and in the realm of cinematic sports theater, I have found basically two types of villains: The Bullies, and The Elitists.

The Yankees in Major League-bullies (the owners who want to go to FLA-eliteists. The Yankees in Bad News Bears-elitists.
The bad guys in Mighty Ducks-a little of both, Mighty Ducks II bullies, Mighty Ducks III, elitists. You get the picture, I'm sure...


Eigh Men Out: This was the bullies vs. the elitists, basically. These two factions hate each other more than Pete Rose hates his life.





The Elitists, who for the sake of a hypothetical sports film involving mostly college-aged baseball players, are too good to come to the protagonists party, since you only have Pabst light and liquor in plastic bottles, the elitists will instead call the cops and have your star pitcher arrested for underage drinking, and then offer to bail him out if he plays on their team. The Bullies will crash your party, already under the influence, start a fight, try to steal your booze, and try to make out with the star pitcher's girlfriend.

The Bullies just think they're bigger and stronger than you, and can push you around. The Elitists think its a joke that you're even attempting to beat them--that they're just too good for you. Sometimes, an all star team has to play a group of loud mouthed New Yorkers, who want to pick a fight. In cases like this, its good to have a bully on your side.


(The Charleston Chiefs were not smug. )



The elitists would rather start their own team.

For the sake of this story, the heroes, tragically flawed as they may be, are your South Oakland Ducks. Talented, but undersized. The underdog, an almost-dirty team that has to out- hustle opponents as much as out play them in order to win.

The villains, standing in the way of the Ducks shot at the title reside in our own division:
The Brookline "Bullies" and the "Elitist" Owlz.

Sometimes a name says it all: "Black Sox" just sounds imposing and dark, named after a tragic team that threw the world series, with a roster full of guys who look like they wrestle bears in the off-season. The defending champion Owlz, a team with a sleek sounding, phonetically intimidating, misspelled nick-name run by a guy with the name, "Cool". You couldn't make up two better bad guy sports-team monikers.

News Flash:
Controversial footage of an off-season confrontation between Coach Jones, and B-SOX Owner/GM/Player/Coach, Kenny Powers at the local ice rink has surfaced.



Jones has recovered from his leg injury.


The Owlz and the Black Sox absolutely despise each other.
I think Kenny is pissed his team is no longer the only team in the league not to end in "s"

These teams have more in common than they'd like to admit:
They have set the bar in the Monongahela Division, until the Ducks knock off these teams we're playing 3rd fiddle in our division. The Owlz are the top team in the league and the Black Sox, who dominated South Oakland in the playoffs last year (ie. the Indians losing in the ALCS after Major League) should be considered the second best team going into the season.

Opportunities like this; the chance to overcome two teams of this caliber to win the division is why I play baseball.
***

Kenny Powers is the leader of the Rob Cool Hate-Wagon.

During the off-season, Cool courted the best players from every team, and landed ex-Black Sox pitcher, Alex Warren.

Kenny has constructed this year's team with the goal of beating the Owlz.

Rob cut a lot of players from a championship team in order to stay ahead of the curve, he constructed a team with the goal (i think) of getting into a more cut-throat league.

These generalizations don't apply to everyone on these teams. If you read this blog and don't get that by now, you take yourself too seriously.



***

Let's go back to the MDCS
Alex Warren was promised a bonuse if he won 7 games, he only won six, and kenny rested him in his last 4 starts, in order to save him for the playoffs.



Warren lost in the semi's before going to play for the Owlz.

Interesting.

***
FOR KENNY'S BLACK SOX PREVIEW CLICK HERE

Brookline Black Sox:
Last season 2nd in Monongahela Division,
defeated Ducks 29-3 in wild card round
lost to Owlz 2-1 in MDCS

The Black Sox will have nine guys who can hit, and great pitching.

Here's how I imagine one side of a conversation between Kenny and a prospective Black Sox player:

Kenny: OK, all-state in high school, all conference at IUP, that's a good resume, impressive.
you're 6'6" 280 and it says here the charges were dropped, so you don't have to wear an ankle bracelet anymore. good, good.

you have several friends who will get wasted, watch our games and hurl insults at opposing players, yeah, the guy's name is pronounced "Fay-Go" but its spelled F-A-G-O, they can work with that, right?

Your girlfriend is hot, that's good, but will she will fight Rob Cool's mom?

What?, she'll fight Rob Cool, terrific.

What number do you want?

end scene.

The Black Sox are the Ducks' oldest rival.
There's nothing better than beating this team.
Unfortunately it hasn't happened very often.
The Ducks beat the B-Sox 8-2 during the regular season, but lost in terrible fashion in the playoffs.

I score kept the Black Sox games for a season in '05.
I don't have the animosity towards this team that the rest of the league may have.
They have the best third base coach in the history of the NABA:

***

Only one player did not get an at-bat in last season's all-star game.
Thanks, Kenny.

If we don't want the Black Sox talking shit and taunting us as they cross the plate,
we have beat them.
This season the Ducks will be ready for the Black Sox.
We concede nothing.

***
Owlz Preview:
Last Season: NABA Championz.


The Owl is literally a symbol of elitism. (among other things)
check out this Owl Link

The Owlz, like the Black Sox will pose a tough challenge for the rest of the Pittsburgh NABA.
Some of the players on the Owlz, and their fans strike me as "terrified of losing", as if the ramifications of playing on or supporting a team that does not win a championship would somehow reflect negatively on them
I could be wrong. I'm no shrink.



OK, Here is my Owlz Preview:

The Owlz are the defending championz, and manager Rob Cool haz worked tirelezzly to improve hiz team over the off-zeazon. Thiz year’z Owlz lineup will be able to hit top to bottom, and they probably have at leazt three pitcherz who hit the high 80’z conziztently, with off-zpeed pitchez that would buckle the kneez of Ted Williamz.


Thiz team iz wonderful. If Jezuz Chrizt himzelf were to put together a team to compete thiz zeazon, he would uze the Owlz az a model. We zhould all be honored to play on the zame field az theze guyz, zeriouzly. Lizten to their fanz, they know how good the Owlz are—zo good they will probably be invited to compete in the Independent League—thiz rozter iz loaded with talent above and beyond my capacity for comprehenzion, they are clearly in a league of their own. I get the feeling winning a zecond title iz more important to Owlz management than juzt about anything elze in the world, az it zhould be. I juzt hope they don’t beat uz too bad thiz zeazon.

I don’t think I’m good enough to even be the 4th outfielder on thiz team.

Man, what an organization.


***


I thought at this level of play I wouldn’t have to deal with parents and fans taunting me and my teammates. To hear adults berate the Ducks, saying thingz along the lines of, “They don’t belong on the same field as you…” and condescending shit like that, it makes you wonder about the state of humanity in Pittsburgh. These comments came during a 5-5 tie that does not have a summary on the Owlz team site.


At least the Black Sox fans are drunk when they taunt the opposition during early afternoon games, so I guess they have an excuse.


Hope that was worth the wait, Mr. Powers.



Quack.